Business-to-Business (B2B) copy with DM thinking and Consumer flair

Randall Rensch, Freelance copywriter

Marketing Communication Concepts and Copywriting • New York City • 718-577-0005

Copywriter portfolio —
Want a 40% Response? Talk real benefits in real language to real people.

NEW SEARCH                 INDEX

Mailer, showing jet

Advertiser: Atlantic Aviation
Media: Series of mailings

This 4-mailer series, which pulled a 40% response from CEOs and chief pilots, succeeded for a variety of reasons. It covered a wide range of copy points, including the plane's practical lavatory, (which we of course discussed tastefully). Here's copy from one piece. I also suggested several ads to go with the mail campaign.


Interior Headline:  Human -- and humane -- engineering in a mid-priced jet.

Body Copy: 

    To get a business jet with good headroom inside, you usually have to pay a price that leaves no headroom in the budget. Only one midpriced jet is designed to give you the space that ordinarily costs much more.
   That spacious exception is the Westwind 1.
   Other jets compare in price. In the cabin they do not.

A person in your position should not have to fly cross country in a cramped position

   Consider the numbers. Westwind 1 gives you 41% more cabin volume than the Learjet, 41% more than the Citation and 42% more than the Falcon.
   In the Westwind 1, even tall passengers won't have to lean inwards or back to avoid hitting their heads. Nor will they have to shift their feet to find legroom. Everyone sits comfortably, whether sitting straight up and straight ahead, or swiveled, reclined or tracked in any direction.

A baggage allowance you won't have to make allowances for

   If the other three jets seem to treat their passengers like second-class travelers, they treat the passengers' baggage even worse.
   The Lear holds 36% less baggage than our Westwind, and to load it, someone has to carry it all rearward through the entire cabin and lift it onto a cabin shelf. It's inconvenient, to say the least. And rough on the furniture, too. The Falcon requires basically the same procedure.


Except the Falcon has less than half of Westwind 1's baggage area. The Citation offers only two small external baggage compartments. In contrast, the Westwind 1 has two externally accessed, heated compartments, with over twice the Citation's volume. To get more luggage into the Citation, you'd have to put it in the lavatory compartment, rendering it unusable. Which raises another problem.

Only Westwind 1 offers a humanely-designed lavatory

   Westwind 1's lavatory is comparable to those on commercial jets. The others' are literally emergency facilities. In fact, Falcon and Lear have no separate lavatory at all. Scarcely more comfortable is the thought of using a space in the Citation's baggage compartment. Only the Westwind 1 offers a separate lavatory at the rear of the cabin with closing panel doors, a mirror, vanity, lighting and optional basin.
   We realize our lavatory is just one reason to choose the Westwind 1. But there are sure to be times when your passengers will consider it to have been an extremely valuable one.
   In the meantime, talk to your pilot, to other Westwind owners, and to us. You'll find many other important reasons why Westwind 1 is the greater value.

...And of course the call to action, etc.



NEW SEARCH                 INDEX